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How to survive the Zombie Apocolypse?

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    Posted: 16 Mar 2013 at 22:59
So you wake up one morning and your girlfriend wants to eat your brain. After a titanic struggle you manage to lock her in the bathroom. You go outside and discover that everybody else wants to eat your brain also. You swiftly run upstairs and stick a pick axe through said zombie girlfriend's brain.

90% of the planet have become zombies, the remainder will almost certainly die directly from the zombie infestation, or from lack of resources.

How would you survive?

(P.S- I'm the type of geek who has read all of the Walking Dead comics and has seen all of the Romero films...)
http://xkcd.com/15/



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Birddog Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2013 at 01:11
I am sure I have answered this question before on a different thread.

I am all for nicking a trawler, and headed for a moderately sized island with my band of survivors.

A trawler has the advantage over a sail boat being it has lots of room to carry supplies and fuel, easy to be handled by a small (poorly trained) crew, can tow smaller faster boats, and has decent range. (Me and one lubber could handle the damed thing at a pinch. A lot of swearing would be involved).

I would set up base on a island and then day light raids up and down the Queensland coast, stock piling supplies, nicking more boats, grabing every drop of fuel, and learning how to sail for when the fuel runs out. An island in the Keppel Group would be perfect. Pumpkin Island comes to mind. Good size for a small group, and we could expand onto North Keppel as our group gets larger.

In Queensland the hardest thing will be getting your hands of decent weapons. But on the bright side, any other marauders taking advantage of the Zombie disaster will have the same disadvantage.

Eventually the aim it to establish a independent colony on North Keppel, farming, fishing and killing any zombie that comes near the dammed place. And if any zombie can walk 35 kilometres under water, I will invited them fight off the Great White and Tiger sharks that call these tropical waters home.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lao Tse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2013 at 02:48
It's easy, I'd get my light saber and beat the crap out of those brain-eating morons
 
BUT SINCE NEITHER EXIST, if zombies were real I'd do this:
 
1. Call in the Former Military buds from way back (now it's easier since they live next door, and would have already planned for such)
 
2. If any members of the family (all are still under one roof, cursing at eachother in pretty much any language the others don't speak, for once I'm left out) are infected, I'd get out the old jade hair pins that my grandmother constantly wore, and the sword to stab them al out
 
3. Use the Penjing (bonsai) as weapons against current invaders (some still have wires around them, and others have stakes and/or knifes pointing up that the trees are tied to, it's like "Saw" for baby trees)
 
4. Drop Dead-Bombs on any trying to get in the doors (kerosine-covered bonzai trees and potted dirt that didn't make it through the winter, also useful against racist neighbors, but ONLY ON HALLOWEEN)
 
5. Pull out the arsinal of firearms (everyone in the family knows how to shoot, or use hand-to-hand combat, and theres enough guns and bullets, and army-surplus rations to survive a nuclear bomb, along with stored up water in the cellar)
 
6. If the house is overrun, the seppuku explosion ( I also use re-loaded casings after I come back from a practice shoot or contest at Knob Creek, so theres the supply of gunpowder; and primers, and I know how to make an emergency explosive with 2 casings, gunpowder, kerosine, and a string)
 
7. Re-Barbwire the Back walls ( my house is near a penatentury, so if anyone escapes I have a barb-wire fence, folloed by an electric fence.)
 
Yeah, I'd say I'm a little prepared


Edited by Lao Tse - 17 Mar 2013 at 06:19
在財富的害處,而是一件好事永遠不持續。我在和平中仅居住在新的風下。 Wei Jia Hong No harm in wealth, but a good thing doesn't last forever. I live only among peace under
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Voltage Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2013 at 05:06
I think it could be guarded against easily here in South Africa becuase each house is a Fortess.  Plus we have a good supply of politicians to feed the Invading Zombie Army (IZR for future reference) OOPs wait they eat brains!   Politicians are rather lacking in, what was it again....
 
Thanks for opening this strange (and distracting) thread.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Parnell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2013 at 10:20
My plan is to leech off a military man and eventually get into a position as one of his top advisors. I wouldn't make a great King or Emperor, but a decent chancellor, steward, or marshal I should think. 
http://xkcd.com/15/



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Styrbiorn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2013 at 10:35
Bad-ass bastardness is the key to survival, which I unfortunately lack. I guess I'd have either learn that quickly or to hope some bad-ass bastard have use of me.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paradigm of Humanity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Mar 2013 at 10:44
Zombie apocalypse is lame but I imagine myself someone like the Governor if I ever run into it. Although a lot less psycopatical.

First I'd gather everyone around me and that wouldn't be a problem because everyone will run to some bearded guy in face of danger LOL Then I'll organise them strictly, people will be forced to bring every available supply (food, water, guns, ammo, melee weapons, medicine, first aid kits, fuel, cars etc.). All supplies will be allocated with a strict programme. Hoarders will be punished. I'll lead people into a relatively safer place, probably far from any nearby settlement. Prefarably a nearby mountain or island. Then I'll set a base there and I'll constantly send patrols for reconnaissance and scavenging. The base itself will be covered by thick walls and will be divided to segments. Just in case of an internal epidemic, only one segment will fall at worst. Also, I'll try to secure land for farming with sufficient walls and barbed wires.

Edited by Paradigm of Humanity - 18 Mar 2013 at 08:49
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lao Tse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2013 at 07:14
Originally posted by Parnell Parnell wrote:

My plan is to leech off a military man and eventually get into a position as one of his top advisors. I wouldn't make a great King or Emperor, but a decent chancellor, steward, or marshal I should think. 
 
Ok then
 
For me I'd make a good emperor, I already have the clothes for it, and a big enough group who looks up to me (their mistake, not mine Wink)
在財富的害處,而是一件好事永遠不持續。我在和平中仅居住在新的風下。 Wei Jia Hong No harm in wealth, but a good thing doesn't last forever. I live only among peace under
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paradigm of Humanity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2013 at 08:09
Originally posted by Lao Tse Lao Tse wrote:

 
For me I'd make a good emperor, I already have the clothes for it, and a big enough group who looks up to me (their mistake, not mine Wink)
That's kinda a too fancy title for someone who will reign over ruins Tongue
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Voltage Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2013 at 19:26
So he has a point if there is no one else around.  By the way how about me as premeir of Southern Africa?
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Parnell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2013 at 19:43
South Africa is perfect for a zombie apocalypse because of all the walled estates. Plenty of space to grow vegetables and raise some livestock. Water could be an issue though. And the poor souls in the townships wouldn't stand a chance.

Much of continental Europe would probably have a fighting chance as well due to centuries of fortifications, there is a good chance that in the event of a human victory somewhere like Wales with its high proportion of castles and walled towns would emerge as the biggest population center in the continent.

Ireland has a lot of islands off its western coast, most of which can grow vegetables and of course have a lot of fish. Cities like Dublin would be like anywhere else, but I'd like to think we could secure somewhere like Phoenix park, a gigantic public park in the center of the city. An added advantage is the Police HQ as well as the Presidential residence (And the US consulate) and an army arms depot is all situated there. The park itself is completely walled, so the few pedestrian entrances could be sealed. If it were over-run, we'd be screwed. This is likely to be the secure green zone of the Irish state.

I'd try to lead my small group of survivors into the countryside though (I'm assuming that I would initially lead a small group of people because I have a plan, but once we link up with a larger group I'd let them take command) We have plenty of 'big houses', old manor estates of the long gone Protestant ascendancy. All walled of course, and many Irish farmers have shotguns and the like. Loads of space to grow crops and keep livestock.

We'd need a boffin of course, somebody who knows about electronics and who could hopefully create a ham radio network around the country, communicating with similarly situated people. The Irish government, from its walled enclosure in Dublin, would be able to co-ordinate helicopter missions to supply stricken communities of survivors. Ireland is not an armed nation however, so ammo would run out pretty quickly.

Belfast and the North of Ireland is blessed considering the 40 year conflict it went through. Lots of army bases, walled estates, gun toting paramilitaries and some very hardy, tough folk. I'd like to think the sectarian differences would dissipate in the face of the common threat.

The Zombies themselves would probably disintegrate within ten years or so, or else become so weak and withered that they would be far easier to pick off.

The biggest problem will be that many of those who survive will probably be complete bastards. If the government is completely over-run then nothing will keep them in check. In countries like Ireland though, this will likely be less of an issue due to the general scarcity of firearms. It would be a huge problem in the US or countries like Switzerland.

Life would be so much more exciting if we could have a zombie apocalypse...
http://xkcd.com/15/



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lao Tse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Mar 2013 at 20:49
Originally posted by Paradigm of Humanity Paradigm of Humanity wrote:

Originally posted by Lao Tse Lao Tse wrote:

 
For me I'd make a good emperor, I already have the clothes for it, and a big enough group who looks up to me (their mistake, not mine Wink)
That's kinda a too fancy title for someone who will reign over ruins Tongue
 
Good point. I HAVE A SOLUTION!
 
Maybe the title of: King of the Lasting Ones Tongue
在財富的害處,而是一件好事永遠不持續。我在和平中仅居住在新的風下。 Wei Jia Hong No harm in wealth, but a good thing doesn't last forever. I live only among peace under
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paradigm of Humanity Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Mar 2013 at 01:25
Originally posted by Lao Tse Lao Tse wrote:


Maybe the title of: King of the Lasting Ones Tongue
Hmm... I was thinking something similar for myself after gathering enough strength. But did you knew what Selim I (conqueror of Egypt and father of Suleiman the Magnificent) said

"A carpet is large enough to accommodate two sufis, but the world is not large enough for two Kings."

Evil Smile


Edited by Paradigm of Humanity - 19 Mar 2013 at 02:24
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1. Acquire melee and ranged weapons suitable to protect myself for the short term future. I already have a compound bow and some arrows, but I will need a melee weapon that has enough length in it to ensure the numbskull can't get a cheeky bite in as I deliver the coup d'grace. It will be at this point I will berate myself slightly for never having taken up cricket or baseball, before recovering my sensibilities and realising the frustration I would have felt playing team sports for all those years far outweighs my current predicament of being at increased risk of dying.
 
2. Establish a base. My apartment block is actually quite decent in terms of security. Solid brick walls, a good view, security entrance. But it won't last forever. There is a glass pane by the front entrance that can easily be smashed in, and thinking ahead years into the future I will need somewhere I can grow crops. Plus I've lived there for over 6 years and could use a change. Using my archery I clear the remaining 8 apartments from my building one by one, and hopefully find someone who likes mining, sword fighting, jousting or blacksmithing in their spare time so I can get a melee weapon to replace the biggest knife I could find in the kitchen. Finding a baseball bat, I decide it will do until I can weld a point to the end of it.
 
3. Stockpile supplies. I give thanks that government vehicle subsidies and middle class inner city stupidy has allowed four wheel drives (SUV's) to proliferate in an environment where there is absolutely no need for them. Because this allows me to steal one without looking around too much. I know the local streets quite well and decide a night time drive to the local supermarket/homeware complex is in order. As I go I put the vehicle's rugged strength to real use for the first time, clearing abandoned vehicles from the roads. I will need to make many of these trips, and it will imperil me to have to slow down due to road blockage. I park in the underground carpark right by the escalator entrance, make my way up to the next level, and get to work clearing the area of the re-living. I gather plenty of good storage foods, a few condiments and whatever tools I might need and anything else that may be useful as a weapon. I also find an oar, some sturdy looking knives and a welder. I return home with my goods, and fashion a thrusting spear out of the last three items.
 
4. Prepare to move to a long term base. This is a much bigger project, involving very comprehensive long term planning. But that's what I do for a day job, so in a way the task almost feels like a return to the pre-zombie days. I feel like I deserve a promotion, before remembering that the person who can give me is probably more interested in chowing down on me.
 
I have chosen the location of my long term base of operations: the Melbourne Royal Botanic Gardens. It's like a 5 minute walk from where I live. It is surrounded by a very secure, high, iron fence with spikes on top. It has abundant access to fresh water thanks to government infrastructure. It has enormous areas of open land that will be good for crop growing. At its peak also sits a building that I've always wanted to live in but probably never will: Government House. It is occupied by the State Governor, a largely ceremonial position. And it's goddamned pretty. Just look at it!
 
 
 
36 hectares of well watered soil which has been enriched by a century and a half of careful land management and fertilisation. More than enough to feed one person, or even 20. One side of it also follows the contours of the local river, allowing for the future possibility of maritime travel and resupply. It's perfect!
 
I journey to the local hardware superstore a couple of suburbs away. I pick up fence posts, barbed wire, wirecutters, a nail gun and various other supplies. Clearing the entire site in a day will be impossible. Clearing parts of the site and leaving it will just mean the zombies wander back in once I leave. I will need to put up temporary fencing, enclosing a large area in barbed wire on fence posts, clear it, fence another area, then clear that, etc etc. I start in one corner of the gardens and get busy, using a garden cafe as my base of operations and place to sleep securely. After a week or so, the site is cleared. I move all my stuff from the apartment block into Government House, which I have renamed My House. Because no one can possibly object to me doing so, literally.
 
5. Become totally self sufficient.... I'll do this one tomorrow.


Edited by Constantine XI - 19 Mar 2013 at 04:54
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Zagros Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Mar 2013 at 09:23
I already have a survival kit in case of just such an event and it consists of military garb, high end jackboots and gloves and knee and elbow pads and a few other bits and pieces ;).  Think about that racist/homophobic nutcase's grotto from Falling Down and you're just scratching at the surface. :P

I'd get booted and suited, dispatch anything that got in my way but otherwise avoid everything and everyone and head for somewhere hot and humid, Zombies wouldn't last long in that kind of environment and they would be severely weakened and slowed besides from intensified decomposition... Although this then raises the questions of how to get there and resources... not to mention personal sanitation and hygiene. 

I would team up only with people who were quiet and focused, I'd end up dispatching anyone who acted too hysterically, was too needy (emotionally and physically) or didn't contribute.  Hopefully most such morons would already have been taken care of by the zombies.


"There was glory in pissing, Corabb decided as he watched the stream curve out and make that familiar but unique sound as it hit the ground." So true.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lao Tse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Mar 2013 at 19:11
Originally posted by Paradigm of Humanity Paradigm of Humanity wrote:

Originally posted by Lao Tse Lao Tse wrote:


Maybe the title of: King of the Lasting Ones Tongue
Hmm... I was thinking something similar for myself after gathering enough strength. But did you knew what Selim I (conqueror of Egypt and father of Suleiman the Magnificent) said

"A carpet is large enough to accommodate two sufis, but the world is not large enough for two Kings."

Evil Smile
 
 
Hmmmmm, interesting. Maybe I should uhhhhhhhhhh hide my kingdom in the cellar and build under ground and you can have the above ground, deal?
 
Well, we have to become allies and not get rid of each other, Suleiman never said anything about UNDERGROUND and above ground Tongue
 
and plus, at that point, there'd be ZOMBIES. So wouldn't there be 3 kings?  Dead you'd controlt eh above ground, while I control the mine, and then of course the zombies have to hold an election for their King Confused


Edited by Lao Tse - 20 Mar 2013 at 21:11
在財富的害處,而是一件好事永遠不持續。我在和平中仅居住在新的風下。 Wei Jia Hong No harm in wealth, but a good thing doesn't last forever. I live only among peace under
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Voltage Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 Mar 2013 at 19:05
I had no Idea, but, as a Christian, I technically believe that Zombies will rule the World!
 
Allow me to qualify that statement, firstly read these verses (Rev. 20:4-6, I Timothy 5:12, Rev. 5:10), Secondly this is not the tradinonal zombie world view in the fact that these will be completly alive.  Thridly they Are Christians who were beheaded in The Great Tribulation for Jesus sake.
 
 
From your MK in the South,
Voltage
 
 
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