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The best you heard today....

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Northman View Drop Down
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~ Scylding ~

Joined: 30 Aug 2004
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    Posted: 02 Aug 2011 at 16:01

Clever Australians...  Wink

An Australian guy goes into a bar in the Greek Islands.

Jill, the Australian barmaid takes his order and notices his Australian accent. Over the course of the night they talk quite a bit. At the end of the night he asks her if she wants to have sex with him.

Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay Her $200 for the deed. Jill is travelling the world and because she is short of funds she agrees.

The next night the guy turns up again and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She figures in for a penny in for a pound - and it was fantastic the night before - so she agrees. This goes on for 5 nights.

On the sixth night the guy comes into the bar. But this night he orders a beer and just goes and sits in the corner.

Jill is disappointed and thinks that maybe she should pay him more
attention. She goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he
is from and he tells her Melbourne.

"So am I" she says. "What suburb in Melbourne?"

"Glen Iris" he says.

"That's amazing" she says, "so am I - what street?"

"Cameo street" he says."

"This is unbelievable" she says, "what number?"

He says "Number 20" and she is astonished.

"You are not going to believe this" she says, "I'm from number 22 and
my parents still live there!"

"I know" he says "your father gave me $1,000 to give to you!"



Edited by Northman - 02 Aug 2011 at 16:02
   
   If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.    (Albert Einstein)
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WorldHistoria Master
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Seko- Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Aug 2011 at 16:08
whaaaaa!!!!! LOL Now that is an idea.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Heden2v2Nixon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2011 at 13:42
LOL nice joke. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Flipper Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2011 at 16:54
LOL!
FΑΝΑΚΤΟΥ ΜΙΔΑ ΓΟΝΟΣ
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Harburs Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2011 at 18:40
Big smile
"Turn yourself not away from three best things: Good Thought, Good Word, and Good Deed" Zoroaster.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Al Jassas Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2011 at 18:40
Childhood dream comes true.
 
Al-Jassas
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote drgonzaga Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Aug 2011 at 19:29
The Penguin calling another a "troll".
Honi soit qui mal y pense
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Northman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jan 2012 at 00:09
An inbred dog or a hot dog? Smile
 
 
 
   
   If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.    (Albert Einstein)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Jan 2012 at 01:17
Did not see the original joke until now, but it is hilarious!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jan 2012 at 23:09
Originally posted by Northman Northman wrote:

An inbred dog or a hot dog? Smile
 
 
 
 
That is the most adorable thing I've seen in quite a while. Smile
 
-Akolouthos
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Northman View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Northman Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Mar 2012 at 00:54

Hillbillys hit the big one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A mountain family from the hills was visiting the big city and they were
in a mall for the first time in their lives.
 
The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They
were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny,
silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
 
The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?"
 
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I
ain't never seen nuttin like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r
what it is."
 
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.
 
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up
again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.
 
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly
 
to his son,
 
"Boy..................go git cho Momma...............

   
   If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.    (Albert Einstein)
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